What you are about to read is an email which I received from a well known marketer. It’s your standard and typical sales pitch with hype and spin. To illustrate the sales pitch and the hype in this email, I have added my thoughts as I see this email. My thoughts are in blue between the two blue lines under each part of the email.
Remember, this is my own view and opinion. These are the exact same thoughts that I had as I read through this email. The reason for putting them here so you can read them is so you can read this email from a marketers point if view.
Look at it like you are seeing through the “fog” and getting a real life
, no spin , translation so that you can see just what is going on here. Once you see the fog of this email then you will be able to see the fog of every other email you get like this one.
Start of the email:
=========================================
Hi Michael,
here with a member update and news on up and coming secret projects.
Oh how exciting, a new product update , sounds cool so far , maybe this will help my online business..
First, we had some problems with mail getting out last week and wanted to make sure you saw our bonuses offered:
No, I can assure you there were no problems getting your email out , there are a lot of fed up people who can confirm that your emails definitely got sent out last week, - yours and everyone else’s for that one single offer.
After you’re done checking that out, here is an important update for you that is important to you and your online business in 2007 and beyond…
Could I ask you a few questions Michael?
Oh yeah sure, please ask away , it makes a change from you telling me to buy one of your mates products so you collect the nice big commission payment, so ask away.
What are you using to run your online business? (hosting, scripts, software, tools, resources)
Every single product that I was stupid enough to buy every time I got an email telling me it was the best product ever and I just had to have it else my business wouldn’t succeed.
How are you marketing your business? (affiliates, ppc, email, networking)
Similar answer to the above , I’m doing what every guru that I once trusted has told me to do, after all, you guys are the experts right?
What are you doing to increase your revenue? (special offers, additional services , products)
See the above answer!!
Who are you working with? (outsourced help, partners, admin)
Oh I’m still working with myself because I have been pitched to so many times, I now have every single product you can imagine but as soon as I start to use one of them , a new email drops in to my inbox telling me of another new life changing product so I ditch what I was using as that was, yesterdays, product
Do you feel like others are building empires while you are left in their dust?
No shit Sherlock, and I am waking up to why that is.
Are you happy with your answers? (Yes, No, Not Sure?)
Be honest, would you care if I actually emailed you and told you my answers? Or would you be too busy? Funny how you can be too busy for some things but have enough time for other things when it comes to thinking about me and my business
These are questions I ask myself often and always work to improve things.
Yeah right!!
And improve we have…we have spent the last 3 years building, testing, tweaking and investing in our business from the bottom up.
Oh I can’t help feeling you are about to tell me of the next ultra best thing that I am going to need to build my business.
So?… Well, Michael, I’ve been pretty quiet this year to tell you the truth.
You’re kidding me, right?, So who was sending me all of those emails for the past 12 months about new product after new product?
Yes, new produt alerts go out often but those are automatic and our admin handles those.
(produt ? , I think that’s spelt product) Anyway, Oh ok, so these product alerts are sent out automatically? Wow that’s real cool , so it’s not even a real person telling me about that great new product that I thought YOU were telling me about? Even though each email had YOUR name at the bottom of it? Wow I feel even stupider now I know I have been sold to by a robot. Thanks, my self esteem has just gone through the roof.
I sent out around 4-5 endorsements this year but you really haven’t heard from me for a few months and there is a reason.
4 or 5 ? You’re really kidding me now aren’t you , I got four or five in the past couple of weeks. Hey maybe the robots are taking over and sending emails out when you are in bed and not telling you about it?
While many gurus only talk or explain what you should be doing online, we do it first then show you what we’ve done and how you can do it too.
So in real talk, without the spin , what you really mean is ,We find a new method of making money and milk that baby dry before telling you about it and by the time we have told you about it we have already moved on and started milking the next best thing
I believe in leading by example and frankly speaking, I think you will be blown away when you see what we’ve been up to.
Leading By Example?!? Are you really being serious? OK, lead me, show me what you are doing right now, give me the chance to see and follow what you are doing and I accept that if it doesn’t work out and I don’t make any money then I will only have myself to blame because that option has to be better than the one I have been taking. So go on, here is your chance, if this is so great and wonderful , please feel free to let me follow along as you do it so I too can do the same and make money from it too.
Or are you just gonna milk the hell out of it as normal before telling me about it so I can go off chasing bread crumbs that you have so thoughtfully left.
If you have ever dreamed of building sites like or some of our other sites, get ready…
You mean the free membership site , the one that you built while telling me to build a paid membership site? Yeah thanks for that, that was really good of you.
If you are in need of finding the best people to work with, outsource and jv with, get ready…
Would these people be your marketing buddies, all ready to, help, lighten my pocket of the last few bucks I have left ?
IF you’re tired of using outdated software, weak scripts and worthless tools, get ready…
Yeah I am actually and do you know where I got them from? YOUR site!!!
If you are in search of the most powerful technology available online today to run your online business, get ready…
Oh I guess this is where I find out that ,This is the most important sales letter I will ever read and this product is the only product I will ever need blah,blah,blah
If you are looking to improve your knowledge on SEO, Adsense, Copywriting, clickbank, List Building, Video Creation, Business Strategies and Content Publishing and more, get ready…
Well that question was bound to get a ,YES, response wasn’t it. Let me ask you a question ,Do you like breathing?
What, you mean YES, you do like breathing?
Oh wow this must be your lucky day because right now I have a bag of air that you can buy from me.
(Side note: Asking someone a question where they are obviously going to answer YES to is a standard sales tactic used in sales copy as it conditions you to say YES more often and puts you in a YES saying mood , and YES I am being serious)
Where is that unsubscribe link
Posted by michael on Monday, March 19th, 2007 at 11:12 pm.
Michael,
I got the same email. In fact, I got the same email four (4) times. It would seem that my would-be benefactor doesn’t know how to clean/maintain his lists … or maybe he’s just too busy researching new ‘opportunities’ for me?
Actually, this particular missive has a bit higher S/N ratio than most of his offers. However, that may be due to the fact that it’s a tease, and not a _true_ offer.
Your breakout was quite similar to my thinking, except for the _get ready_ part. I love those get ready statements. How am I to prepare for this great - event? - script? - ebook? - multimedia? - *thing* if I have no clue what it might be? I mean, getting ready for a seminar in London is quite a bit different than getting ready to receive a few hundred pounds of books and CDs at my front door, or perhaps clearing off a gig or two of hard drive space for an ebook/tutorial series that says the same thing eleventy-seven different ways. And about that funding … should I cash in a CD … or just sell the gold ingot I’m using as a door stop?
My problem is not really with this particular email/author … it is with the 80% of my inbox messages that emulate this - some of ‘em two and three times a day.
And the really scary part is, as I just mentioned to another marketing author, if we do not make a start at policing ourselves, it will come from the outside. And frankly, I’m terrified of what an ICAAN-derived FTC/FCC might do .
Left by barney on March 20th, 2007
Thank you for posting this Michael, it is absolutely hilarious and SO true.
Keep up the good work.
Left by Gordon on March 20th, 2007
The biggest problem with this email is that no real value was created for the person who received it. You know what I mean?
If they had said:
———————-
We used this tactic to build our list. How we did it was that we made five very funny YouTube videos. Four of the videos have been watched a collective total of 359 times over the past year, but one of the videos has been watched over 194,738 times.
Some of the strategies we used in making these funny videos were from this course. It’s not quite ready yet, but we’re going to send you the opportunity to purchase it in May. We are going to make money from selling it to you, but we’re telling you about it, because it’s worked for us.
Now in all honesty, it may not be for you, but if you already have some video editing skills… then this course is very likely to be of value for you.
———————-
Something like that actually treats you like a human being. And then if they showed you the video they made that had generated all the traffic already, you would have an opportunity to start learning some of this stuff on your own before the course comes and be more prepared to make a decision on whether or not it’s right for you.
Know what I mean? This email sounds like it was written by a 14 year old that has never done a thing in Internet Marketing, other than copied and pasted from other sales letters.
Just my thoughts.
Left by Jonathan on March 20th, 2007
Boy, you guys sure know how to spoil my day.
Here I thought that everything on the Internet was true, that every email I got was just to me, and now you tell me that’s not true. So what do I do with the 60+ gigs of stuff I’ve collected… Oh I know, I’ll send it to the ones who sent it to me.
There, that’s better.
Thanks, Michael. I needed to laugh until I cried.
Left by Linda on March 20th, 2007
Its funny, because for Michael Sherriff to make any money from his newsletter list, eventually he has to recommend something.
He needs to promote it in some manner.
And nobody will buy it if there’s not a good promotional slant and some excitement behind it.
Whether he promotes his own product or someone else’s - he - and every other internet marketer out there - makes a decision as to what he is willing to send out to his thousands of subscribers.
Each of whom have differning experience levels, information needs, and yes, pocketbooks.
Virtually everything you need to make money online in a wide variety of ways is available free of charge online - go and find what you need.
That said, there is a real value, to me at least, to finding out that there are best tactics for placing Adsense Ads, ways to get thousands and thousands of co-reg leads, or just a method of inducing every subscriber to recommend several more - these are all Real products, offered to me by Real marketers, and if used properly, will make me Real Money - isn’t that the end result we are all seeking?
The unsubscribe link is at the bottom of every email, and you are free to unsubscribe from any newsletter that bothers you - but I agree with Dr mani that if you are immersed in an area, then one email a day in your area of interest is not too much - further, if you want a wide variety of different slants, different products, and different looks at methods of making money online, it is in your best interest to subscribe to a wide variety of newsletters.
And if one day is Rich Jerk Day, and ten or twenty people send out a Rich Jerk email - you DO know about the hottest product released on that day, and get to see a variety of marketers methods, slants and promotional offers - THAT is good information - because you’re watching what WORKS.
Alternatively, unsubscribe form anybody who bugs you, and continue to mutter about how nobody makes money online - its a free country!
Andrew Larder
MarketingSharks.com
Left by Andrew Larder on March 20th, 2007
Hi Andrew,
That’s right, for me to make any money from my email list I need to promote something - either my own product or someone else’s. But this post or the others are not saying that it is wrong to send an offer for a product to your email subscribers, instead, it is questioning the actual content of those emails - how many provide information and advice V how many just contain a sales pitch.
In respect of what you said about “if one day it’s Rich Jerk day and ten or twenty people promote that product it shows that it is the hottest product”…..
To me it shows that ten or twenty people are looking to profit from that product ASAP because they know that the window of opportunity to do so is small which does not make that a good product or the right product for their email list subscribers.
And you made my point very well when you stated ….
“and get to see a variety of marketers methods, slants and promotional offers - THAT is good information - because you’re watching what WORKS”….
Does that mean that if everyone is doing it and getting sales then it makes the product right for everyone who is buying it or it is the right way to market a product?
I can’t help feeling that greed has now taken priority with marketing and a marketer will tell you anything to get you to order.
What would happen if the hype was left out of a sales pitch - I know and understand sales - I appreciate that words must be used in a certain way to persuade the reader of the quality of the product being marketed but I can’t help feeling it is all getting out of hand and marketers are more interested in their own pockets than the actual person who they are sending the email to.
Isn’t that what having an email list is all about - providing information that will benefit the reader of the email? Of course as marketers, offers will also be sent to the email list subscribers but at what ratio?
As for making money from my email list? Maybe marketing in general is suffering from tunnel vision - email marketing is not the only way to monetize a list of email subscribers and email marketing is not the only channel of income with online marketing if you are able to look beyond the conventional methods of marketing.
The comments of this post are not directed towards you personally Andrew and I fully appreciate your thoughts and the time you took in posting them to the blog and thank you for doing so.
P.S The free country comment - it is a free country depending upon where you live in the world
Left by michael on March 20th, 2007
Hello Michael,
Actually, the email looks ‘made up’ to me. I’m on waaaaaaaaaay too many newsletter lists to mention and I don’t recall seeing that one.
Though I agree with your position, I think your being far too timid in your expose’. I’ve been working on something similar to your recent ‘rants’ about the constant bombardment from these hucksters, and one of the primary reasons I haven’t launched any of the couple dozen domains I own (besides lack of time and the steep learning curve) is I refuse to come off like all the other copy-cat wanna be’s.
As far as the expose’ I’m working on, I WILL name names. Sue me, I don’t give a sh%t at this point. Between most of the people in my personal life, most of my past employers, the laws and restrictions on everyday life, and feeling like nearly every encounter with nearly everyone is some sort of contest of wills, macho and bravado…it’s all become mostly a bunch of hype. Just look at what goes on in nearly any area of life. Relationships, the Government, Business…everyone’s full of it and so self-absorbed and self-righteous; they wouldn’t know the truth and reality if it bit them on the @ZZ.
“other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how’d you enjoy the play?”
Left by chris on March 20th, 2007
Hi Chris,
I’m not going to name the marketer as the posts of this part of the blog have not been aimed at one particular marketer - so I will not name the name although after reading some of the other comments on this post another reader did say that they also had the same email land in their inbox.
I know what you are saying about wanting to release a product but not wanting to for fear of being seen like a copy cat or jumping in a bandwagon of sorts.
Left by michael on March 20th, 2007
I’ve been awake up to this issue for quite a while now. It’s so cynical how otherwise reasonable marketers (even ones that offer fairly good product and service) keep sending a 2nd and third etc. email to “check” whether “the filters ate my last email” or “the server played up”. And the hype is so ludicrous I can’t even laugh about it anymore.
And they’re the “good” ones!
There are so many other outright scam artists that it makes me sick.
They’ve got people “chasing their tails” - and the secret is that you will never find out exactly how to do the same as them. There is always a piece of the puzzle missing or when they get to the crucial bit they just say “outsource” or “just do this and that” - things which you are unable to do or pay for! And they know this very well.
Just at the point when you are tearing your hair out (if you haven’t given up already) they come out with the next big thing.
The last 12-18 months have seen an avalanche of “free” giveaways where you have to sign up to 50 different marketer’s lists and incredibly highly priced products.
About 2 years ago most products were only $27, $37 or $97 but they quickly escalated in a feeding frenzy that would embarrass the sharks. At least sharks leave you alone after eating their fill but these marketers are greedy with endless appetites for your money.
And as you imply the products are now so over-priced that they HAVE to offer installments or most people couldn’t even buy them!
I can only suggest that you take the opposite tack as a Point Of Difference to stand out from the crowd.
Offer honest products at a reasonable price and show people exactly how to use them - especially now that video can make it so easy to do exactly that!
Just one thing about your blog. Those icons for social sites you invite people to click on - it would be better if you labelled them and explained what they were instead of having to click on them and then be just taken to a blank log-in page.
Anyway Michael, all the best and see if you really can make a difference. I’m sure “word of mouth” will be greatly in your favour if you can bring some honesty, decency and value for money products and support for your subscribers.
Left by John on March 20th, 2007
Hi, Michael
I, too, received this e-mail, although I can’t remember for the LIFE of me who it was from. Damn! Gimme a hint so I can forget about it and get back to life as usual?
I loved your analysis of the e-mail and your thoughts in general about marketing. So, so true! Keep up the good work …
Sue
Left by Sue Simonsen on March 20th, 2007
Enjoyed your breakdown of the email, all very true. Another thing I don’t like with sales letters is the endorsements by unknown people. That and if they are too long, I get bored reading them and usually scroll down to the bottom to see the price. 12 page sales letters seem to be the norm in marketing.
Left by Les on March 20th, 2007
I feel so inferior, I didn’t get one of these emails.
Actually, this is quite funny. I have been so busy, I haven’t even read one of Michael’s emails lately. I followed this link out of curiosity, but really was thinking of unsubscribing from his list. Now I think I’ll hang on a bit longer.
And…Chris…did someone actually say that to Mrs. Lincoln? *grin* too funny.
Left by Kathryn on March 21st, 2007
LOL … very entertaining and oh so true!
Yep, got that, deleted it and unsubscribed too!
Left by LivingFreeOnline on March 22nd, 2007
[...] I have just finished reading an hilarious post at Michael Sherriff’s blog where he dissects an Internet Marketing Email that he received. Like Michael, I am tired of receiving most of these sales letters because they contain little information of value. There is only one Internet Marketing newsletter that I receive that has any real valuable marketing information in it and that comes from Allan Gardyne. Posted under: Web Marketing by UrgentClick @ 5:13 am [...]
Left by Internet Marketing Spam on August 30th, 2007